I was born into a military family on the East Coast.
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Moving at least every three years,
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I was exposed to much change at an early age.
Summer camp was where I let my hair down.
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It was also where I first glimpsed spirituality in nature,
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and where I was initiated into leadership as a camp counselor.
After college in Massachusetts,
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I married and moved to Rochester, NY,
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where I began my career
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as a computer programmer at Eastman Kodak.
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There, mentored by wonderful bosses,
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I rapidly advanced into management
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and discovered the joy of helping others
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grow and develop into themselves.
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Five years later, I transferred from Information Systems
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to the Real Estate Investment department,
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where I was asked to manage two divisions
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and reorganize them according to recommendations
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I'd made in an earlier consulting study.
Problems in my marriage led to couples counseling,
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which quickly evolved into a journey of self-discovery.
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Moving through anger, fear and often painful lessons,
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we both grew significantly.
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By the time we divorced, we were able to
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lovingly release each other to our separate lives.
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Through therapy, reading, and workshops,
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I embarked on an arduous, yet fulfilling, journey
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of personal growth and spiritual awakening.
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Inner work became more central
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and clashed with corporate life.
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The parallel tracks I'd been on were diverging.
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Knowing that another path was calling me,
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and wanting to feel more integrated and aligned,
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I sought help—this time, career counseling.
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A new vision began to emerge.
In 1987, no longer able to live a split life,
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I left the corporate world
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to become an independent consultant,
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experiencing "whitewater" rapids of excitement and fear,
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much as I had during my divorce.
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I was boldly initiated into my new life
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on a Shaman's Journey in Peru.
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There I discovered my power animal—the eagle,
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and, to the surprise of the leader and myself,
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volunteered to lead others into
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and out of the Cave of the Dark
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—not knowing that it was Persephone
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calling me until some years later.
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Drawing on my own experience,
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I worked with clients in transition,
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helping them create what they wanted
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personally, professionally and organizationally.
Then, after four years of being fully on my own,
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came a
huge transition—a major "death"—in my life:
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my business declined as my motivation slipped away;
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I sold my beloved condo and moved out of Boston;
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a significant relationship failed;
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I felt confused, depressed, and betrayed.
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A call from Persephone to be a guide
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to the underworld and back
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led me to pursue graduate programs
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for professional development and
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a deepening of my own journey.
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Encountering more walls in my search
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for graduate schools in the Boston area,
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and feeling like an alien everywhere I turned,
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I finally got that I didn't belong there anymore.
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Traveling to the Northwest, including the Bay area,
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I discovered ITP—the Institute of Transpersonal Psychology
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—and felt immediately "at home."
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Suddenly, all of the dead-ends I'd experienced
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in the previous year made sense.
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They were clearing the space for a significant move!
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Everything flowed naturally in this new direction.
Thus began seven years of intensive self-discovery;
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soaring to new heights
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and diving deeply into the dark;
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major transformation—both inner and outer—
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and new levels of relationship with self and others.
I came to ITP as a seed
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—released to the air,
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blowing in the wind for awhile
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before settling and rooting in new soil.
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What was I to become?
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My first year was one of descent and awakening.
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Death and dying were major themes,
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as were confronting authority issues,
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grieving and healing childhood pain,
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swimming in the unconscious,
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dialogues with my soul.
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This narrative poem form emerged spontaneously.
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Only years later did I discover it in
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Paula Spencer Underwood's
Walking People.
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Reconnecting with my purpose and vision
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of guiding others to connect with and live their essence,
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of helping business leaders transform,
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I began to braid old corporate experience
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with a new emerging self
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and a third strand of mystery
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yet to be revealed.
Toward the end of my first California summer,
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I went on a vision quest, with many prayers
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focused on finding my life partner.
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Ten days later, I met Bill Veltrop.
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He was the one.
I began my second year at ITP with excitement and anticipation,
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but soon I encountered new walls—inner and outer.
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A new descent had begun.
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Deep in the well,
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I found mirrors everywhere I turned;
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Death was all around me.
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After holding the tension of opposites,
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and intense inner battles between ego and Self,
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I began to experience dynamic balance,
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a new integration of masculine and feminine,
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power and vulnerability,
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dark and light.
My third year at ITP was a lesson in organic living.
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After a period of struggle around the focus of my internship,
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and my decision not to pursue clinical licensing,
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I once again surrendered.
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What emerged from that process
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was an incredible experience of flow.
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I accomplished my internship goals
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easily, joyfully, naturally,
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—and in a balanced way.
Bill and I were married in 1995
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in a sacred ceremony we created,
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weaving Eastern, Western and Native traditions,
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to celebrate and honor Swan, the entity of our relationship.
My doctoral dissertation on the transformational journeys of business leaders
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was a transformative experience for me and many involved.
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I used a new research methodology called organic inquiry,
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wrote the journey stories in narrative poem form,
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evolved a new relationship with my inner masculine,
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and emerged with a Figure 8 Model
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of the transformational journey.
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In a full-day gathering of co-researchers,
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we shared and reflected on our stories,
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laughed, cried and found ourselves
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deeply moved and inspired by the experience.
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That gathering would later inspire and help shape
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our soon-to-emerge Pathfinder Circles.
Through my years at ITP,
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the seed I'd been when I entered
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grew into a tender green shoot—
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sprouting above ground,
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seeking the light of day,
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and longing to be of service.
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By the time I graduated in 1999,
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it had become a strong sapling—
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swaying in the breeze,
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deeply rooted in fertile soil,
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... ready to serve.
Bill and I co-founded PathFinders,
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offering guidance to individuals and organizations
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in evolving "from
where they are... to
who they are."
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We offered our first Pathfinder Circle in 2000
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to leaders and change agents committed to
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personal, organizational and global transformation.
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After five wonderful seasons with Bill,
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I started co-leading Pathfinder Circles for Women in 2004.
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Meanwhile, I've been growing my own practice
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—serving as a guide to individuals and groups
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on journeys of awakening and transformation.
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I've also been blessed to serve as a hospice volunteer
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working with those who are dying.
Spiritual practices are central to my life and work.
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Guided by my teacher, Ellen Grace O'Brian,
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and initiated into the Kriya Yoga tradition,
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I've committed to awaken into Self-realization in this lifetime
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and to live my life in service and surrender to God.
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Through meditation, silence, and retreats,
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I'm learning to honor my contemplative side
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along with my "call" to emerge more in the world.
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Shamanic practices and creative expression
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—dance, photography, gardening and collage—
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support my inner and outer journey.
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A pilgrimage to Nepal in 2005 was the perfect
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complement to my shaman's journey to Peru in 1987.
After many descents and significant "underground" work,
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as well as peak experiences and spiritual awakening,
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I'm learning to navigate the heights and depths
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of this wondrous transformational journey.
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With gratitude, humility, awe and curiosity,
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I step forward on the path.